On Sunday October 2, Worldwide Communion Sunday, Two Rivers Pastoral Charge had a special worship service (at both Long Reach United Church and Westfield United Church) where we celebrated being an Affirming Community of Faith and reminded ourselves that being Affirming is a journey rather than a destination.
The sermon/reflection was offered by Ross Sherwood – chair of the TRPC Official Board, our Mission & Service Enthusiast, one of our regular camerapersons for worship livestreaming, and a member of the Fundy St. Lawrence Dawning Waters Region Affirming Committee. He has given me permission to share his reflection here. These are his very powerful words.
Scripture Reading: 1 Corinthians 12:12-27
Good morning! First I would like to introduce Joel McElhinney, my partner, who will be accompanying me with some background music during the reflection. Thank you Joel!
Joel selected three pieces of music to share during the reflection. “Oceans” by Hillsong speaks of how we need to always lean to God, to keep above the waves from drowning and that becoming Affirming is to move to uncharted waters where God is calling us to the waters of acceptance, to always trust without borders. “It is Well” by Kristen DeMarco speaks of the seas that are stirred in our lives which with God can be calmed and that the mountains in front of us can be the hatred and intolerance that some people foster but through it all, with our eyes focussed on God, It is Well. And “Your Great Name” by Natalie Grant…well this song can speak so much but to summarize it, what I can is “GOD IS LOVE!”
I am sharing a reflection I created, with a few thoughts from 3 friends who I hold close to my heart, for last spring’s Fundy St. Lawrence Dawning Waters Regional Annual meeting.
May the words of my mouth and meditations of all our hearts be acceptable in your sight.
A while back I was sitting reading an article on line ‘Welcoming, but not affirming’: being gay and Christian posted August 2016. (This was shortly after Two Rivers Pastoral Charge, our church, began a year long process of planting seeds, asking questions, sharing and working towards understanding just what it means to becoming ‘Affirming’.) This article is a conversation back and forth from the perspectives of a Gay Christian and the leader of a Pentecostal Charismatic church. I won’t get into the whole article but I would like to share some of the comments from the leader and the Gay Christian.
Leader: “At the moment our position is that if you’re going to volunteer here that we would hold to a fairly orthodox position of scripture…so yeah, we do have a line, and that line is drawn to just being a member of the church but because you are gay, you will not be able to take part in any leadership positions.”
Gay Christian: “Imagine, I not allowed to take up the offering! I was simply looking to be actively involved and become a member of the church…BUT because I am gay that was sufficient for (them) to turn around and say no. I thought to myself “That’s just not right”.
Leader: Being part of a Christian community is…The body, everyone’s got a part and a role to play, “Oh, but now you say you’re gay, you can’t do that anymore”.
Gay Christian: “I grew up in church, understanding that God created me and loved me for who I am BUT when I shared with my church that I am in a same sex relationship, I was told that I had to step away from my duties at the church, forcing me to leave, feeling so sad because for me it was my space for belonging. All of my formation happened at church. That’s just not right”.
Gay Christian: “There really is no self-respect in staying inside a community that holds up a banner saying ‘welcome home’, while simultaneously rejecting your very presence by silence. The silence was like thunder to me”.
Imagine being a part of a church that does not accept you for who God created you to be!!!!
Affirming Ministries seek to go beyond issues of gender diversity and sexual orientation to work for justice and inclusion for all people. In June of 2017, I am so very proud to say that we, Two Rivers Pastoral Charge, voted unanimously in favor of becoming an Affirming Community!
Through a process of discernment and reflection, Affirming Ministries discover what it means for them to be inclusive and justice-seeking. They prepare a statement of faith and vision that sets out their ongoing commitment to work for justice on issues of gender diversity and sexual orientation within their congregation, the wider church, and their community, and to support and participate in the Affirming Ministry Program.
Shortly after becoming an Affirming Community, Two Rivers created and adopted our Inclusivity Statement.
We the people of Two Rivers Pastoral Charge
publicly declare our commitment to create a
community that will celebrate the blessings of and
the support of one another in our diverse life
experiences; a community where all people are
welcome regardless of age, gender, race, sexual
orientation, gender identity, differing abilities,
ethnic background, life experiences, generational
culture, economic circumstances and others we
have yet to discern.
As such we will continually seek to identify and
dismantle barriers that hinder the participation and
inclusion of marginalized groups and individuals.
All persons are welcome to take part in every aspect
of church life including memberships, leadership,
celebrating life passages and marriage.
We celebrate the richness that diversity brings to
our church, even as it challenges us. We pray for
God’s spirit to guide us as we work for
reconciliation and justice for all persons in both
church and society.
BUT…it doesn’t stop there. It doesn’t mean “okay, that’s done!! (Sharing from Open Hearts: A Resource for Affirming Ministries in The United Church of Canada). “It is more than offering a welcome. Being an Affirming Ministry is not merely about welcoming gay, lesbian, and transgender people. Words like welcoming or inclusion suggest those on the inside have the power to choose to accept those on the outside. This makes it sound like an act of charity to welcome those who are different or marginalized. However, it is not our place to welcome anyone because church is not a private club and we are not the gatekeepers. As soon as one new person comes through the doors, the community becomes a ‘new’ community”.
I reached out to some members of Two Rivers to ask their thoughts on what it feels like to be an Affirming Church? What has changed? And, what are the challenges?
Bette Ashley shares… “ I believe it has brought our three congregations closer together. I think we are living out what God wants us to be. More welcoming, more understanding and to show love to all people.
Two Rivers has always been welcoming churches. I remember the first time I walked through the door at Summerville, I felt this is so right! The education during our time of becoming an Affirming congregation was well done, gave everyone valuable information and freedom of voting.
As Jesus said ‘love one another as I have loved you’.”
Chris Patstone shares… “I’ve related it a lot to my call to share the good news about God, Jesus and faith. I like to think that myself, my faith and my church function and live to help bring others closer to God, closer to their own faith. To help others discover that God is with us and God loves us and God is Love! This House of God (TRPC), is love, is support, is caring, is holy… and thanks to being Affirming, others are discovering this as well.
Some of our church’s old teachings and practises raised barriers between people and the love of God. Our Church (us the people) being Affirming, in action and word, serves to lower barriers between people and God. It can make the road easier, or even possible, for others to discover the life-changing love of God. After all, isn’t this what the church is suppose do, bringing people closer to God.
I get emotional when I hear the stories from others, about when they see the signs of welcome and affirmation on our website or outside our churches. How, for some, who in the past have felt unwelcome or unloved by churches; now know with certainty, that this house of God welcomes, supports and loves them!
God loves us no matter who we love he just wants us to love!!! As Jesus reminds us, the most important of all commandments is to love God and love each other!”
Josie Pike shares… “I think we are now a much more 'open' pastoral charge....I believe we voted to become an affirming pastoral charge thinking that we were reaching out to those who do not sit in our pews (via our signage).....and indeed we were...but...
I have noticed so many changes 'within' our charge. We are more open and welcoming with ourselves.....many people have since shared their own stories....stories that perhaps they were not sure (before affirming) would be heard without being judged . And how else do people become closer, by trusting enough to confide.
I feel strongly that when stories are shared that there is acceptance.....of the story itself…..of the feelings of the storyteller.....of the subjects of the story.
And love.....there has always been love in our pastoral charge but I feel now that it has grown even bigger, even stronger....and we are loving the love that has changed us and embraced us .
I believe that by becoming an affirming charge we have given ourselves a voice.....a quietly strong one that we can draw upon when we find ourselves in social situations where others question what the rainbow signage at each of our churches means (I had an opportunity to do just that recently...and I believe I did it with love).
The hard, perhaps challenging, part for me personally, is when I encounter people who do not think like I do.....like when 'jokes' about others are made....or when derogatory names are used to describe .......I have always avoided confrontation at all costs and kept quiet....but since our process of becoming affirming, I believe I have found my voice, because being quiet means I agree with what is being said, doesn't it? I may not always have the courage to speak up but I am working on it because it's important to me.....and I have my pastoral charge behind me”.
1 Corinthians 12:12 “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” We are all created in God’s image, God created each of us for who we are! No matter our age, race, sexual orientation, gender identity, our differing abilities, ethnic background, life experiences or generational culture. God loves us for who we are…God does not judge nor does he expect us to judge! For to know God is to know love!
As Rev. Kate shared during a recent reflection and I quote “being Affirming is a journey, not a destination. It’s not just something Two Rivers did back in 2017 – it is something that is an ongoing commitment to be willing to have our barriers broken down. It isn’t always going to be easy – as our inclusivity statement reads, ‘we celebrate the richness that diversity brings to our church even as it challenges us’. There is no tension between the celebration and the challenge. God is always pushing us beyond our comfort zone, pushing us into a broader understanding of love and acceptance. For God’s love isn’t just for the ‘in-crowd’. God’s love is for everyone; and who are we to stand in God’s way?”
As a man of faith who is gay, I feel so very blessed to call Two Rivers Pastoral Charge, within the Region of Fundy St. Lawrence Dawning Waters under the umbrella of the United Church of Canada…MY CHURCH…MY HOME…MY FAMILY!!!
Amen!
Since the time I wrote this reflection, I have come to learn that these churches also exist in the United Church of Canada. Just because our National Church is Affirming does not mean that ALL United Churches are following under this banner!!! In fact, there are many churches, in many denominations, that are still practicing Conversion Therapy today and even though the federal government has made it “against the law”. WE HAVE LONG WAY TO GO!!! BUT WE MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER…GOD IS LOVE…GOD ASKS US TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY…WE ARE NEVER ALONE…THANKS BE TO GOD!
Amen and Amen!!!
A screenshot from the worship
livestream at Westfield United Church
with Ross Sherwood preaching
and Joel McElhinney on piano
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